I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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