Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
