Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
