SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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