this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
