what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
there's paper in my vomit.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
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