she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You ate ashes out of my bong
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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