I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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