i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize