its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Randomize
