It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize