Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
