roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
