Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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