Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
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