Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
