It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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