I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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