I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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