What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
