Duck Duck Cougar?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Semen is not good for contacts.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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