Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
