Define "chronic" masturbator.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
