my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
