Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
