just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
