i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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