So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
