Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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