8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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