goodnight i made you a song goodbye
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
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