Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize