he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
