my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
