im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
