I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I AM VODKA MAN
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
