Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
