we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
