ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize