Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
