direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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