Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
