I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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