i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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