who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
