I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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