did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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