He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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