Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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