to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize