Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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