when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
