Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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