Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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