its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
