I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize