yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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