im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
