im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Enjoy the penises
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
