So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You are a genius and a whore.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
