Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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