Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
